Movies in the Park

We were able to get together with some friends for a fun night outside watching Finding Nemo. Our city has Movies in the Park during April and May. The kids had fun. The weather was perfect. The movie was a classic.
A great way to spend a Friday night

Fashion Challenge Friday

It's that time of the week again... Fashion Challenge Friday. This week's presentation brought to you by the colors pink and purple, and all things princess.

Simple Pleasures

... a warm sweet pear


...a cold popsicle on a hot day (shared with your bear)


... discovering the joy of your first garden


Life doesn't get much better.

April Book Club

Vini, Vendi, Urini
(We came, we conquered, we peed our pants...from laughing!)



I was lucky enough to host this month's book club. As always, a fun night filled with intelligent conversation that descends into copious amount of laughter, preceeded by copious amounts of wine. (Anyone else seeing a connection there?)
It was such beautiful weather, I decided to have us start out the evening in the back yard at the pergola and then move in later on for the book discussion. As dusk approached, I asked if folks wanted to move in or stay where they were. Everyone wanted to stay put. The breeze was just glorious. I brought out candles and we laughed until very late. The running joke of the evening had to do with seating. I was expecting about 10 gals. Fifteen showed up. When we ended up spending the evening outside, we brought out my dining room chairs. Those, in addition to the other chairs and swing outside provided a seat for everyone... but one. I sat on the edge of the deck until my bottom was numb, at which point I brought out one of Isabel's little white chairs... as in... toddler-sized. As soon as the first person left to go to the bathroom, I jumped up and took their chair. This "Musical Chairs" ensued for the rest of the night, leaving many a gal making serious decisions about whether to remain in her current spot (and face a U.T.I.) or go for relief and be stuck with the WHITE chair. That chair never saw so much action in its two years at my house.

Fashion Challenge Friday

It's Fashion Challenge Friday.
So... I have been letting Isabel dress herself for a while now. Of course, she can wear the outfits only at home. Some of her latest creations have been...shall we say...INTERESTING?? This morning she wanted to wear tights...thick tights... thick, rainbow-striped tight. (Have I mentioned lately that we live in hot, humid Florida?) The "excitement" continued with the addition of a jean skort over the tights and some hot pink sandels. Rounding up the outfit was a (thankfully at least in the same color family) pink and brown shirt with daisies on it. I felt compelled to put the obligatory bow in her air... just for the heck of it. Of course, when I decided to loosen up and just go with the flow, I hadn't anticipated having to stop at two stores on the way home. Oh well, it's just clothes, right?

In the craziness that is our normal morning routine, I didn't think to get a photo of the outfit today. I do, however, have one of another creation from earlier in the week. [Note the tights... am I seeing a theme here?]

A Wake Up Call

Up until now, life for Isabel and me has been relatively smooth, but I know that very soon she will begin to recognize the differences between us. She will realize that we have different skin color, eye color and eye-shape. She will struggle and wrestle with issues that I can’t begin to understand. She has been asking me to tell her about her foster mom and dad for several months now. She (the animal lover) tells me she’s going “to visit my foster daddy because he has a farm.”

The awareness is beginning to surface and with it, the first steps in the lifetime journey of coming to peace with being a transracial adoptee to a single mother. I know that she will have to work through many difficulties. I know that she will encounter prejudice and racism that I, as a white person, have never had to deal with. I know that I can’t protect her from the world forever. I know that. I just wasn’t prepared to deal with it so soon.

I was at the hair salon on Wednesday. (Isabel was not with me.) I was sitting in the chair and tuned in to the rambling of the young (I later found out) 12-year-old behind me. She was yakking away about her mother getting the color wrong on her hair and that she “looked like a flippin’ China baby.” She repeated twice, each time with even more disdain in her voice.

I felt like someone had kicked me in my gut.

…and then she continued. “You know how THEY get their names??? The mother throws something at the wall and the sound it makes is what they call their kid. Ping. Dong. Wang. Ha ha ha!”

I wish I could describe what I felt but I am still processing it all. I felt like I had the wind knocked out of me. I know there was anger…and disgust… and sadness. This was a TWELVE year old!!! Sixth grade!!!! How in the world could she come up with such things? Clearly, it was learned in an atmosphere of ignorance and fear and small-mindedness. It is a world that I have been protected from. It is a world that Isabel will be a part of.

I teach in an inner-city college prep school with a multicultural student body. My students are from Korea, Jamaica, Puerto Rico, China, the Philippines, Mexico and Russia. They are Hispanics, African Americans, White, bi-racial, multi-racial, rich, poor, big, small. Some live in the local neighborhood; others endure a 90-minute bus ride each way. It is a microcosm of the world. Though not perfect, there is a deep sense of respect for people and their culture. I love teaching there. I love that my daughter will have the opportunity to have classmates that look like her. I love that diversity is embraced. It is the world in which I have been living for the last 15 years.

However, it is not the world that a lot of people either live in…or want to live in. I needed to be reminded of that… not so much for my sake, but for my daughter’s.

Pool Party

Inflatable canoe. Tree fort. Grilled burgers. Watermelon.
Great Fun. Great Company. Great Kids. Great Day.
It doesn't get much better than this.
Thanks, Amy and Joshua!

Balancing

This is how I feel most days... trying to keep my balance, without crashing to the ground. Single parenting is both the best and most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. Most days I feel like I am just hanging on.

I stopped beating myself up a few months ago when I realized that I am doing the best I can. If that's not good enough for some, that's okay. They are not living my life.

I gave up trying to keep my yard in its pre-Isabel condition. Same goes with the house. I'll have plenty of time for that later. For now, I'll continue with the balancing act... and look to my daughter for the inspiration to do so with a smile on my face.

Tuition, Tea and Time

I licked the envelope, turned it over and put the stamp on it… a simple enough gesture. I picked up my pen to write the address and was surprised to find myself overcome with emotion. I teared up as I wrote Florida Prepaid Tuition on the envelope. In that moment I felt like I stepped out of the confines of time and watched as the next fifteen years flew by: as my sweet baby stood there among the students walking to the stage for her diploma, as she hugged me that last summer together and left for college. The whole thing lasted about 2 seconds and then I was back at the table with a checkbook before me. The writing of a simple check made the abstract became concrete.

I am reminded daily, by both behavior and words, that my baby is a baby no more. And yet (despite my out-of-time experience) she is not yet a young lady… though at times, I catch glimpses of who that person will be. For today, I get to relish the time between… the now.

Before I know it, she won’t be following me like a shadow. She won’t implore me to “Hold You!” She won’t be underfoot in the kitchen wanting to help. She won’t call from her bed for me to “Come snuggle.” The very thing I long for relief from right now, I will ache for then.

I need to remember that and try not to forget that this time is fleeting.
I need to try to live in the present.

It was with this mindset that I came to a lovely Teddy Bear Tea at Isabel’s school this afternoon. I felt my eyes fill with tears (yet again) when I arrived. The children were all dressed in fancy clothes and seated at tables covered in linen tablecloths. In front of them was all the china necessary for a lovely tea party. Napkins were in their laps and classical music played softly in the background. I watched Isabel pour herself a cup of raspberry tea and swirled in emotion. Sadness at the reality that my baby is truly gone, and wonder at the amazing little girl that has replaced her.

The party lasted about 30 minutes and ended with a dad reading Corduroy surrounded by children holding their own teddy bears. Simply beautiful.

Easter Morning

"Is it daytime yet, Mom?"

So began this beautiful day. I had been up until 2 am, filling and hiding eggs around the house. I purposely made myself see everything from Isabel's height, and had a blast hiding eggs in room corners, in plants, under beds and end tables, etc. It was quite an eye opener. I never really stopped to think of how she views the world. She was almost shaking with delight at discovering eggs everywhere. We didn't do the eggs last year, and the first year home, she was only 16 months old. So this, for all purposes, was her initiation. She followed the trail of the eggs from room to room and ended up in her little kitchen, at her Hello Kitty basket. So much fun.


A little later on, we headed to church for a second Easter egg hunt. We saw friends and afterward, made our way down to Saint Augustine for a wonderful day filled with people, food, laughter and the general chaos that I feel so at home with. And of course... the third Egg Hunt. This one led to a newly constructed Pirate Ship tree house. It is amazing! The kids (and some adults) played back there for hours. Just as the sun was setting, we headed down for a walk on the beach. Isabel proceeded to whip off her dress (it got wet from a wave) and ran/danced around the beach in her sparkly shoes, pink bow and Disney princess panties. Yup.. never a dull minute.

A wonderful day filled with wonderful people celebrating wonderful news.

Happy Easter!