Right on schedule.... unfortunately.

     I have been expecting it. 

    In fact, dreading it for years. 

The inevitable

And it happened just now.In the car. 

On the way home.

I look up in the rearview mirror as Isabel calls, Look Mom!"

I want to throw up.

She has the palms of her hands at the outside edge of her eyes,

pulling them back tight until they are nothing but slits. 

Then she starts saying "Me Chinese. Me Chinese" 

(And not in a nice way. A proud way.) 

I almost ran the car off the road.

I  asked her where she learned that.

"Sydney did it in class. She's funny." 

I told her it was not funny.

It was unkind and ignorant. 

My heart hurts. 

I know this is just the beginning.

I don't think I'll ever be ready.